Folks,
When Bill Clinton was not busy dipping cigars he found the time to designate the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument in 1996. It is 1.7 million acres of cliffs, plateaus, mesas, buttes, pinnacles, and canyons. No wonder Bill liked it so much - these are all adjectives he has used to describe the various features of his women.
If you can situate yourself adjacent to the staircase what you will see is four distinct sloped terraces like a gigantic staircase. From the south the terraces step up in different colored cliffs: Vermilion (Orange-Red), White, Gray, Pink. Together these escarpments expose 200 million years of geologic history (or 6000 if you have a fish logo on your vehicle).
Kanab is just SW of this area so if you drive 5 miles south to Fredonia (in Arizona - yes, maverick country) and then out into the middle of nowhere along State Road 22, you can get a good shot of part of the staircase.
So for 5 hours this PM, I did that, as a storm was moving in. Normally when I am out here I do some hiking in the staircase area but this year they have had snow and rain and roads are a quagmire - and that is severe understatement - they keep heavy earth moving equipment out there year round to repair washed out roads and shoulders. When I say washed out I mean washed out - there could be a 30 foot section of road not there on the edge of a precipitous drop. Not the place to get into trouble by yourself - no cell coverage, nobody out there - no ATM.
This area is fossil rich and it is not unusual to find fossils of fish, dinosaur tracks (Triassic), the white cliffs are composed of former Jurassic sand dunes, in the gray sedimentary cliffs (a former ocean bed) you can find sea shells, shark teeth, and beds of coal; the limey siltstone of the pink cliffs were deposited by an ancient freshwater lake. So geologically speaking if you don't like the ocean front - no problem the lake is coming - and if you get tired of the lake - hang on, the high plains and desert will be along shortly - shortly measured in eons.
I mentioned beds of coal. To the tune of 60 billion tons of low sulphur coal. Now for you conspiracy theorists - and I know you're out there (along with the truth, but never the twain shall meet) - you need to check this out,
maybe somethings hiding under the staircase and maybe her name isn't Monica.
And speaking of Marie, I must tell you I did see her in Las Vegas. I really didn't want to talk about it but I guess I should come clean - no pun intended, Bill. You know you have these fantasies and you build up an image of what a person might be like based on what you read about them, see on TV, read in the tabloids, see on the Nutrisystem ads - then you meet them. And naturally Clinton had got there ahead of me - complete with a Nutrisystem Crave Case - or is that Whitecastle?
You know what the difference is between Bill Clinton and the Titanic - only 109 women went down on the Titanic.
To quote from verse 69 of the Krome Koan, 'If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Phil
No comments:
Post a Comment